That's right. I saw Van Helsing. And for $5.50 student discount ticket, you know what, it was worth it! My friends and I could not stop laughing! It is every bad cliche you never thought you knew crammed into one movie that's a mish mash of legends, horrible scripting, and obfuscated plot. If you loved LXG (as I did), you'll love this.

They've also got a rope-swinging fetish going on here. Fine, the hero comes in swinging on a rope and saves somebody. Done. Dorky Jedi and Rebellion princess swing to safety across random chasm. Done. Frankenstein swinging from one rope to the next around Dracula's castle? Van Helsing swinging on a mid-air acrobat rope? The girl (anna?) swinging from where Frankenstein had just swung? Van Helsing swinging...some other people swinging... Everybody was just having a freaking picinic up there on the ropes.

You learn something everyday though. Among the things that do not kill dracula (like stakes, crosses, fire, all of which the Transylvanians have tried) is a rather odd entry: clubbing. Visiting clubs, as one might suspect, DOES NOT HARM THE DARK LORD. I mean, they could not have possibly meant trying to club him to death with a, you know a club, cause that would just be silly!

So my suggestion? Go out and see it with a couple of friends and laugh at the movie. You'll barely have time to get in oh-so-witty remarks. It'll be a riot, I promise. Now when's that copy of LXG coming for me from Netflix...